Law Courts

Movies, Cinema, Muck (And a Couple of Non Sequiturs)

Exhibit A: Chintuji. Had heard so many poltroons going gaga about how nice, how sweet, how cutesy it was. Well, the darned thing IS sweet. The only problem is that it is so bloody sweet it almost reaches saccharin overdose levels. Methinks the director was probably aiming for a good old fashioned Hrishikesh Mukherjee-Basu Chatterjee feel. And given the times we live in, he was probably obligated to throw in a song-and-dance routine as well. But the poor chap overshot it. By a helluva long way. Muck

Exhibit B: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. How does someone, who made such a bloody decent movie the first time round, so totally screw up the sequel?? Transformers has got to be the worst sequel I have seen. Ever. I know Bay ain’t exactly the cat’s pajamas when it comes to cinematic derring-do, but this has to be pretty special, even by his not-so-exacting standards. Or maybe, it was just Megan Fox which distracted the poor man. Utter muck.

Non Sequitur 1: Caught snatches from a trailer of a Chetan Bhagat interview on CNBC a few days back. The man was mouthing lines like “Chetan Bhagat knows what he wants”, “Bollywood shall work for Chetan Bhagat, not the other way around”. Not only does he churn out you-know-what, but he also speaks in third-person. Cult

Non Sequitur 2: MNS activists have declared war on Wake up Sid. Apparently, the movie refers to Mumbai as Bombay. Cult-er.

Non Sequitur 3: Roman Polanski raped a 13 year old. But that’s alright. ‘Coz he directed The Pianist and Chinatown, you know. (%$@#@, some more dosh here)

Non Sequitur 4: Phul Singh v. State of Haryana, AIR 1980 SC 248. Per, Krishna Iyer, J.

“A philanderer of 22, appellant Phul Singh, overpowered by sex stress in excess, hoisted himself into his cousin’s house next door, and in broad day-light, overpowered the temptingly lonely prosecutrix of twenty four, Pushpa, raped her in hurried heat and made an urgent exit having fulfilled his erotic sortie.”

(Some more extracts from the same order here.) Cult-est.

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The Day it Rained Forever

Cheesy song, that. Currently listening to it. On replay mode.

Saw a full-blown insurrection today. Propah Mangal Pandey-type chap. Was ranting about assorted calumnies being visited upon the proletariat staff by the Bar Bourgeoisie.

Riled him further by asking him about the appropriate procedure pertaining to the submission of a Rule 40 application. Right in the middle of a strirring, fire-and-brimstone monologue. Was told I was at the wrong counter. Dunno, if  ’twas literal or metaphorical.

Lost my umbrella handle on the road. Didn’t notice until a kindly shopkeeper pointed it out and despatched one of his underlings to rummage for it. He didn’t find it either. Walked the rest of the way with an umbrella without a handle. Pretty cool. Not half as cool as my mini-umbra though; the one I used to tote around in college.

Butter Chicken and Cappuccino is one BAD combination. Not recommended. AT ALL.

There’s a point on the seventh floor terrace at the City Civil Court, where you can see the Hooghly to your right, the Cal HC ramparts and the Eden floodlights dead-centre, and what looked like the Ochterlony Monument, to your left.  I’d have probably seen more, but for the blasted rain

My shoes are clean. As clean as they have ever been. Wading through a couple of feet of water all day long does have its strong points.

Some Courtroom Gems

You know, every profession has its pros and cons. There are so many things going for it and at the same time, so many flaws as well. The legal field is no different. However, if somebody likes reading books, novels and enjoys dealing with the English language you can bet your last penny, that he is going to have a jolly good time. Judgments are the most definitive interpretation of law by the individuals who are the most competent to do so, namely, the Judges. Now, most judges are people who have a yen for expounding on relevant issues and questions of law in unnecessarily arcane and complicated terminology. And more often than not, hilarious consequences follow.

Today, while I continuing with my six week long internship I was handed over a few cases to read which were cited as references in a matrimonial matter supposed to go up for hearing in a few days of time. And I managed to uncover two gems. In one judgment of the A.P. High Court, a Judge, in a mater dealing with the dissolution of marriage after the parties had lived apart for a decade or so, after having commisserated at length about the facade the marriage had been reduced to, marriage being the edifice of trust, affection, love and whatnot, also bringing in some 13th Century Telugu poet who had compared marriage to a piece of iron (amongst all other things), came what I consider to be the clincher. The learned Judge pronounced, “The wedlock has become a deadlock”. Wow!!!

Second case. Also a divorce petition, but a disputed one. Unfortunately, the allegations of the wife were of such an excessively graphic nature that the poor Judge in question was naturally scandalized. Even the husband wasn’t too be left far behind and amongst other things alleged incest as well. Now, while delivering the judgment, the learned Judge did not deem it fit to include these portions (thereby, depriving us of what would have undoubtedly been some very interesting readding). But then, in order to prove the acrimony existing between the parties so as to justify the order for divorce, he had to do something. So, our learned Judge devised a special term to allude to any situation where any such graphic allegations were being hurled back and forth. The term : “Pornographic Relations”. Now, tell me, where on earth could have that come from.

In yet another case, in a related matter of a bail petition of the accused, the learned judge said, “As investigations are still in the labour room”. I was just glancing through this case, you know. It was essentially about a company selling adulterated and spurious drugs. And all of a sudden I am staring at the term, ‘labour room’. And I swear, for one moment, I didn’t know what hit me.

Chill, I havent’t even got started about what goes on in law skl and the variegated ways in which English is subjected to abuse in there. Perhaps, some other time. TTFN